User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/The Ring vs The Grudge - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 1 Remastered
Here it is, the second installment in the storm of finishing up Season 1 Hello, welcome back to Epic Rap Battles of Horror Remastered. it's been well over two months since Chucky vs Tails Doll so i figured it's time for the next of these things nobody asked for. This battle was definitely set for either a remaster or a sequel or anything considering a movie came out featuring the two battling (well, their japanese equivalents anyway) so ye, here we are, back at it. The original version of this battle was fucking terrible. Samara's first verse had four lines were all jokes about mimes even though Kayako doesn't look like a fucking mime i have no idea why I did that this battle features the demented human/demon hybrid, Samara Morgan, rapping against vengeful spirit and demon garbage disposal, Kayako Saeki, to see who's the better ghost woman who was slain by someone they love in a fit of jealousy who came back and killed those who sinned against them and now exist to torment the living even though they did nothing to deserve it. Also, the movie. thanks to Cave and TKandMit for looking this over before i posted this Here's the obligatory "the original was better!!!!!" joke so that you don't have to make it. Point aside, let's get started! Cast: Michelle Phan as Kayako Saeki LtCorbis as Samara Morgan (video) (Yes she fucking looks like Samara and it's all I could think of leave me alone) someone else as audio Beat: Introduction: Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! Time to be frozen in fear when I’m teleporting through you.. Your victims all have seven days,. VS! This redundant, summoned someone won’t be so sudden... ..you didn’t actually attack a single person! BEGIN! The Battle: Kayako: Wake up, Wednesday! This isn’t another one of your hellish dreamings, I’ll set you straighter than your jacket; Stay retracted in your cell, screaming, Before I devour you; You’re just another demon I’ve befell and eaten, And so your chances fell fleeting faster than this well being’s well-being! Won’t even need salt to repel Regan; That’s what woke her eternal sleeping, You’re a face without a name; Samara doesn’t leave any bells Ring-ing! Disturbing imagery is found within me; The baddest apparition this squirt’s seen, Ten four’s across the Ouija Board, but your unlucky number’s PG-13! You mumble your clumsy raps on tracks while I kill ‘em like the Williams And no doubt kickin’ this Chicken with wisdom ‘cause she’s voiced by one of my victims! This scheming tween believes she’ll beat me? You couldn’t win a fight with your father! So try to stack those to Kayako’s rap flows; That shows why you’re scared of water! Samara: This Is Going To Hurt you worse than Kirk but you don’t need to burn to see In lyric debating and critic’s ratings, you’re barely worth a third of me The Seal is Solved. Use your final moments to say a prayer, Don’t you know it’s rude to glare? I’d figure by now you’d evade stairs Should’ve learned to shut your mouth, but keep open those bug eyes. This morbid Lord of the Ring’s recording’s the last thing you’ll see before you’ll die Remember That the better act is what this Slender rat will always be Behind, ‘Cause there’s nowhere you can hide once I give you a piece of my mind! You’ll be mourning for no more, but it’s the morgue once Morgan’s done! What my roasts invoke will leave you toast and croaking in more ways than one! Like mother, like son; My hatred’s tidal wave will drown you, Too late to put those spider legs to use! I Found You! Kayako: What took you so long? Couldn’t see me through your clumpy hair? You’re just an unholy loli, Spooky, so stay outta my House of Jumpscares! This idiot’s only ways to hit is looking hideous and throwing hissy fits Give up the ghostly business shit and stick to kiddie flicks with Stitch! Samara: I’ll destroy the whole world! The best you did was beat Buffy, Which you couldn’t even have managed if you hadn’t bitten off of me! Seven Days… that’s all the time you have left, you stupid floozy, Seven Days… that’s twice as long as people cared about your movie! Kayako: (Ugh!) You’re like your third sequel; Rosemary’s Baby should’ve been aborted, But it’s been made clear before you don’t know how to hold your horses! This unoriginal Onryō oughta know who she’s warring to, You’re as cookie-cutter as it comes and I bet you stole your lines from Orphan, too! Samara: You wanna talk dead horses? Call me after your eleventh repurpose Constant content reprocesses for profit is what your actual curse is! In three verses yet only worsened, you’re still yet to impress me, So that makes this the second time that you’ve struck out against me! Kayako: I haven't caught a word you’ve said. Which translation am I facin’? Two decades too late; Didn't make any base that wasn’t covered by Jason My verses are sick as Ju-On but it’s clear you’re very ill Your doom by lyrical entombing’s the closest you came to a proper burial Samara: Turn back! I’ll leave you Death Rattle’d when I get repugnant, So don’t try to cheat me in this battle like you did to your own husband! You’d’ve been better off a Single Lady. I’m Protected by God, it’s No surprise because if he liked your life, he wouldn't've put the Ring on it Announcer: WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! Rap Meanings Outro Who won? The Grudge The Ring Category:Blog posts